Spring Broken — clonehigh

Spring Broken is the seventh episode of Season Two of Clone High, and the twentieth episode of the overall series.

Synopsis

After the clones find themselves stranded in the desert, JFK experiences a heat-induced intellectual breakthrough, Abe faces a zombie horde, and Scudworth and Mr. B hit the big time in Vegas.

Plot

During spring break, the clones embark on a trip to Arroyo Fest. To celebrate, Confucius begins livestreaming on FlipFlop. He notes that flash flood warnings are in effect for their region, but dismisses them, as "nothing bad happens on spring break". He pans the camera towards a devastated Abe, who is still reeling from the sudden end of his friendship with Joan, who, incidentally, is making out with JFK. Topher, who is on the bus with the rest of the clones, reveals an affinity towards shrimp, while Cleo and Frida begin to bond over the music of Mila Brulee. Lastly, Confucius asks Harriet if she is excited for Arroyo Fest, and she eagerly tells the stream viewers about someone she has a crush on who is attending the festival. As Confucius continues making a nuisance of himself, Joan pushes him aside and asks JFK if he is willing to attend an art exhibit with her next week. Her love for the arts begins to clash with JFK's bone-headed macho behavior, as he cites his favorite artist as being "the one who does the boobies".

Suddenly, the bus the clones are riding is hit by a falling rock five miles from Arroyo Fest. When Joan reawakens, she finds the surrounding area to be in complete pandemonium - JFK is struggling to stand up, Confucius' phones are broken, and Peany is killed after being bisected. Scudworth rallies the students and informs them that they have a limited supply of food, water and medical supplies, which he and Mr. B quickly abscond with. JFK complains that his cranium feels hot, and his brain unexpectedly begins to expand. Due to this physical transformation, he undergoes a swift change in personality, granting him intelligence, emotional maturity, and a much more refined accent. Joan (and the surrounding clones) are astonished by his new mannerisms.

Confucius, Cleo and Frida loom over Harriet, who has been knocked unconscious due to the bus crash. Topher announces to the three that he will resuscitate her (while taking great care to seem progressive), but before he can perform CPR, the shrimp on his breath contacts with Harriet's nostrils, which wakes her up. Despite having twisted one of her ankles, she is much more concerned about missing Arroyo Fest, and therefore, her chance to meet "definitely_a_hot_guy_69". As the clones begin to devolve into chaos, Joan attempts to lead the clones in sticking together. This decision is met with hostility from Cleo and Frida, who decide to walk the remaining five miles to Arroyo Fest. Abe offers to come with them, and they accept, planning to use him as a point of elevation to make observing the stage easier. Topher warns the three of rumors of "desert cannibals" in the area, but Frida brushes him off.

Meanwhile, Principal Scudworth and Butlertron begin to experience hallucinations after running out of supplies. They believe that the city of Las Vegas is within walking distance, and promptly celebrate. Back at the crash site, Joan organizes a rescue effort by creating a distress signal using shrimp. Her hard work is quickly undone by Topher, who eats the shrimp. JFK suggests using stones to write "HELP" in morse code, and she agrees, although not before questioning JFK on his accent and newfound critical thinking skills. He explains that, due to his family lineage, his brain is exceptionally small, and in the relentless heat of the desert, it grows to extraordinary proportions. Joan is aroused by his sudden skills at articulation, and he gives a short speech supporting her on future intellectual endeavors. The two test his morse code hypothesis, and the newly-erected sign attracts a nearby rescue chopper. The rescue chopper, upon being informed that not all of the clones are present, tells them that they will return in two hours, and recommend that they gather the missing party members.

Scudworth and Mr. B find themselves in a Las Vegas alleyway, and notice an unlocked door nearby. Believing there to be a telephone behind the door, they are instead greeted by a party accompanied by a live DJ set. The DJ finishes, and wishes luck to the two, believing them to be the next performers. As the crowd heckles them, Mr. B quickly improvises an electronic dance music track, dubbing it "I Like The Way This Party Is Currently Going" after the vocal hook. The crowd loves it, and Scudworth decides against saving the clones.

Meanwhile, JFK begins work on a makeshift device that will call Frida's smart watch, which should give them the location of the missing three clones. Joan is infatuated by his newly-gained intellect and technological prowess, and demands that the two kiss. As JFK launches into a long-winded compliment about her lips, a cloud forms over the two, and his mannerisms briefly revert to that of his previous self. After being pushed outside the cloud's boundaries, he asks if everything is alright, and Joan suddenly realizes that JFK's condition is temporary. Meanwhile, Abe cannot stop thinking of Joan, much to the chagrin of Cleo and Frida. The latter advises Abe to stop being stubborn and apologize to Joan, which only serves to infuriate him, as he believes he is the one who is deserving of an apology. The two women decide to abandon Abe after this outburst, but quickly run into him again after encountering the desert cannibals Topher warned them about. The three make a break for it after being surrounded by hordes of cannibals.

As Joan and JFK place the finishing touches on their GPS device, the former dives into the latter's arms, only to instantly revert her decision after realizing they have moved into the shade. JFK attempts to triangulate Frida's location, but fails due to her smart watch being crushed by the cannibal hordes. Harriet borrows the triangulation device in order to view photos of "definitely_a_hot_guy_69", and the two quickly realize that she is being catfished. Harriet catches on to this as well, and is devastated at having fallen for something so obvious. Joan attempts to offer some advice, but Harriet brushes it off and limps away. Confucius is next in line to borrow the triangulation device, this time using it to view his social medias. He mentions that not checking his social media profiles regularly causes him to "spiral into darkness", and JFK offers to talk about this with him, which only serves to turn Joan on even more.

The party in Vegas continues to rage, and Scudworth and Mr. B develop a habit of snorting drugs. After playing a gig, they retreat to a high-rise, where they begin to snort anything they can find, including money, furniture and even people. Meanwhile, the remaining clones have begun discussing personal problems in their lives, with JFK acting as the de facto therapist. He notes that ten minutes have passed, and decides to send another signal to Frida's smart watch. Surprisingly, signs of life arise from the destroyed watch, although Abe, Cleo and Frida do not notice them. The three have set up a makeshift fence comprised of wooden planks in order to defend themselves against the desert cannibals. Their defense fails, and they once again run from the oncoming horde. Meanwhile, JFK and Joan receive a notification that the call failed. Before JFK can suggest trying again, a cloud passes by, causing his brain to freeze up. Joan is terrified at the prospect of losing the new JFK, and her fears are hastened by the sun going down. She demands that the gathered clones keep JFK warm.

Abe, Cleo and Frida find their progress blocked by a cliff. With the hordes closing in, Abe resolves to sacrifice himself for the two girls. He tells them to inform the others that he died the way he lived: protecting his friends and never apologizing for it. Frida suggests that they climb the cliff, and while two of them reach the top, Abe is grabbed by the cannibals at the last moment. Meanwhile, Joan and the others search for a place to keep JFK hot. They notice that Candide is sunbathing in the Arroyo, and despite warnings to not set foot in there, the clones decide to transport JFK there. Genghis Khan's attempt at keeping JFK's head warm consists of farting on him; this does nothing, although JFK finds it humorous. Joan and Confucius figure out that sitting on JFK's head will keep him warm enough for him to remain an intellectual, and call over Harriet to assist them. Unfortunately, Harriet is still depressed over her recent catfishing, and believes that she has nothing to live for. Confucius, taking pity on her, identifies himself as "definitely_a_hot_guy_69" by remarking on numerous things she sent him, which lightens her up somewhat. Before she can figure out what Confucius is implying, Joan yells at them to help her, and Confucius takes Harriet over.

Scudworth and Mr. B's snorting adventure continues, as the pair begin to inhale signs, whole buildings, the entirety of Vegas, the white void they end up in, and lastly each other. They wake up in the desert, and realize that their past escapades were merely a dream, and the two embrace as it begins to rain. Meanwhile, JFK has been resuscitated enough to issue some closing remarks: he notes that Joan is meant to be with someone who is far more intelligent than his normal self, and advises her to break up with him. Before he can properly close, his normal personality fully emerges, and tells Joan to "sit on [his] face". As the rain begins to pour down, the group realize that a flash flood is imminent, and they are within ground zero of the potential flood. They (including the nearby Candide) are quickly swept away.

The horde closes in on Abe, who begs them not to eat him. The "cannibals" reveal themselves to be drunken divorcees who roam the desert subsiding off of potato chips and guacamole. In truth, they only wanted to invite Abe to their art show. Abe, after examining their condition, realizes that he should consider apologizing to Joan, even though he still believes he is right (to the dismay of Cleo and Frida). He asks if they could take him to Arroyo Fest, and they advise him to catch an incoming flash flood which will take him to the event. Seven of the eight main clones regroup at Arroyo Fest, just in time for Mila Brulee's performance. She debuts a cover of "I Like The Way This Party Is Currently Going", and the crowd goes wild. Abe's legs give out after holding up Cleo and Frida, and the two resolve to manipulating a guard for backstage access. Incidentally, Confucius is given a replacement phone, and finds out that no one has liked anything he has made within the past few hours. The like count changes when Harriet hearts something by him, which lifts his spirits up. Finally, Abe and Joan reconcile their differences backstage. The rescue chopper arrives, and Joan confirms that her entire party is here. Before they board the helicopter, JFK attempts to seduce Joan, who reluctantly agrees to his proposal.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Topher Bus
Candide Sampson
Sacagawea
George Washington Carver
Genghis Khan
JFK's Brain
Helicopter Lady
Mila Brulee
Van Gogh (Cameo)
Peany (Cameo)
Julius Caesar (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Catherine the Great (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Anne Boleyn (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Steam Man (Pictured)
Confucius' Foster Mom (Name Printed)

Songs

I Like The Way This Party Is Currently Going

Trivia

An IndieWire article briefly describes this episode as "a 'Yellowjackets' riff about getting stranded in the desert".^[1]
According to executive producer Corey Campodonico, this is one of his personal favorite episodes, along with "Saved by the Knoll".^[2]
Confucius' alt account @definitelyahotguy69 does exist on TikTok, but the account is private, and it is unknown if the account is official or made by a fan.

Historical References

A FlipFlop user going by the name of "G03rgia_0Qu33f" says Frida stole her art in the chat for Confucius' live stream. This account is likely run by Georgia O'Keeffe, whose clone mother was friends with the original Frida Kahlo.